With Love, Thelms

When I chat with my girl friends, or guy friends with leading ladies in their lives — I have found that one thing remains a constant; the desire for assertiveness.

Whether it’s the girl wanting the guy to be more take charge in nature OR the guy recognizing that his girl wants him to be more of a take charge kind of guy — the preference for assertion continues to soar.

But why? Why do us women want more of an assertive man? In today’s post I’m shining the light on this secret desire and explaining why us girls feel a ways.

However, before diving in, I’m going to share some deets on the look featured in today’s post.

With fall literally around the corner, I’ve been beginning to transition my wardrobe out of the summer styles. I’m talking pushing summer looks to the back and gradually bringing my fall looks forward. Although, Houston will takes it’s good ole’ time getting cool LOL.

I decided to keep things simple with my first transitional look out of summer, by sticking to the basics. I snagged my crop top from here & scored the denim while thrifting. If you missed it, I chatted about my love for thrifting vintage denim a few weeks back on WLT! Catch up here.

Now for the real reason you babes tuned into this post!

Do yourself a favor and sneak off before the morning meeting and keep reading for: Why Women Secretly Want an Assertive Man.

According to Google, assertiveness is defined as someone who is:

able to stand up for [their] own or other people’s rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’

As it relates to a relationship, assertiveness can be defined in many ways: For one, it’s a man who will take charge when necessary. I’m talking picking where to eat at, taking the initiative when it comes to planning date night, taking the lead sexually, and just down right being on their shit.

Am I right or am I right ladies?

I mean, who wouldn’t want a guy like that?!

Now, that doesn’t mean that women want a “thug” or someone who is aggressive. Not what I’m saying us ladies want at all. There is a difference between an assertive man and a dominant man. We don’t need someone who will dominate over our lives. Instead, we would prefer someone who will assert their position into the relationship and our lives generally. So, I guess I’m also saying that many of us want someone who is an initiator.

In a few of my good girlfriends’ cases, here’s the thing: They fall into one of two categories. They’re either assertive females themselves who want to take a break from that role in their relationship. OR. They’re passive women who need someone to be the initiator because they can’t imagine taking on that level of responsibility.

In my case, I’m an assertive female. I know what I want and when I want, so it can get pretty annoying when I’m put into a position in my situationships where I have to constantly be the one making decisions. That shit is actually annoying lol.

In addition to wanting a man that takes charge, assertive characteristics in our men show us they care. It shows that you want to take the initiative in your relationships because it’s something you value.

At the core of it all, it’s why women secretly want an assertive man after all.

After laying it all out there, I guess the desire for an assertive man is no longer a secret?

LOL.

I’m now off to school to learn and potentially nod off in class.

Laters babes,

Thelms

Photos by Tiffany King