WHY I MADE A TINDER, THEN DELETED IT

In today’s post I want to breakdown my experience with Tinder and answer some burning questions that I know after reading the title of today’s post, you’d likely have.

Around July of last year I made a Tinder and by December, it was deleted. Well I deleted the app off my phone and never looked back.

Those few short months of having the dating app that had become all the craze a few years earlier was… nothing short of a whirlwind.

Like shopping for your favorite candy at Dylan’s Candy Store (infamous candy store in New York) — I was shopping for men.

It sounds crude or.. I’m not sure strange when you say it out loud, but that is what dating apps are.

They’re like virtual candy stores for men. You resonate with a flavor you swipe right, and if they leave a bad taste in your mouth; swipe left and keep it moving.

WHY DID I MAKE A TINDER? When I was done with school last May, I felt empty on the dating front. I mean I had little things here and there while I was in school, BUT. For as long as I can remember, school and my career was my top priority. Nothing else ever mattered. I’m sure it’s how I’ll always be when I make it back to school soon. However, for the short period that I’m not in school I felt the need to focus my attention on other things. Not just dating of course, but it was one of the main items on the agenda. After pondering over it for a while (naturally discussing it with good girlfriends), I decided to go for it.

DID I MEET ANYONE OF SUBSTANCE ON TINDER? The answer is yes. I actually did. I was a bit surprised and a little excited that I did. Most of it happening rather quickly. One guy in particular proved to be someone filled with substance and it was good for awhile. We shared meals, spent time together, and just overall enjoyed each other’s company. He’s someone I could never regret… or forget.

HOW DID I DIFFERENTIATE WHO WERE “TIME WASTERS” and WHO WERE NOT? It’s pretty easy most of time to figure out who wants to take the time and who wants to waste your time. It’s all about the way the guy communicated with me. The intent to be actionable about taking things to the next level or the lack of intent. For instance, I remember a guy that I connected with on the app. Really cool and down to Earth. We took it off of Tinder pretty quickly and would chat often. I’m talking phone calls, FT, etc. In the midst of that, he never once attempted to initiate hanging out in person. When I did, he wouldn’t give me the feeling that he was trying to make that happen. RED FLAG ALERT, he was a time waster. Guys know what they want. If they want to make something happen, THEY WILL.

WERE THERE ANY BAD EXPERIENCES ON TINDER? I mean of course. That goes without saying lol. No matter the experience, it’s not expected to always be rainbows and butterflies. Naturally there are going to be periods of downpour and hail. Some guys just wanted to have sex right out the gate or be pen pals… none of which I was down for. There were also guys that would be interesting on the app, but once it was time to take things out of that environment — it would just fall so flat. Or the ones that ghost you lol. Then there was the guy(s) who would be able to take it out of that environment and thrive… but then fall short eventually because they only ever intended to remain pen pals.

Side note: (pen pals), only ever want to text, FaceTime, call — but doesn’t ever want to make actual plans to go out.

DID I PREFER MEETING SOMEONE ON A DATING APP OVER MEETING IN REAL LIFE? At the time, I couldn’t say that I preferred one over the other to be honest. They were respectively two different experiences and environments. I’m a people person, so I have no issue or struggle with striking up conversation and keeping it flowing. I also have no problem sharing a few bits back and forth on a dating app, until we establish plans to meet in person. Since having deleted the app though, my preference stands with whatever leads me to the person I’m meant to be with. So I guess meeting in person or interacting initially through social sites? *shrugs*

WOULD I RECOMMEND TINDER TO OTHERS WHO ARE IN THE “DATING PHASE” OF THEIR LIFE? I’m not sure. I guess it just depends on what you’re looking for. I wanted to serially date. Meaning, I just wanted to spend focused time on dating a lot, so my best friend and close friends recommended it to me. However, my situation may not be your situation so it really all depends. Also, a lot of the guys on there just want one thing (not that it was what I was looking for, so I had to be selective on who I gave my time to), but you may just want that sooo… it all really depends on the person.

LOOKING BACK DO I REGRET MAKING A TINDER? Not at all. I could never regret something that taught me so much about myself and in some ways about men. It may seem silly to some that I could learn so much from a dating app, but I did. If you know me, you know that I love experiences that allow me the opportunity to learn more about myself. I’m very big on and pro self discovery.

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LESSON I LEARNED FROM TINDER? Whew. This is a loaded question. I don’t know that I could ever really pinpoint the biggest lesson, but I can share something that I learned generally because it resonates with me the most. That is, the importance of knowing myself and what I need & always putting that above all else.

WOULD YOU EVER MAKE A TINDER AGAIN? I don’t like to say never, because you just never know… ya know? But I highly doubt that I would again. I experienced what I needed to experience, learned from it just the same — so there’s nothing more for me on that front. Basically, it was good when it was good, until it just wasn’t for me anymore.

Do y’all have or have had a Tinder that y’all deleted? Let’s chat about your experiences in the comments below.

P.S. I’m wearing Nasty Gal biker jacket, Zara midi dress, and Forever 21 sandals. 

friendly reminder, new blog posts on With Love, Thelms every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you babes’ viewing pleasure.