It happens to the best of us, being triggered that is. Whether it be emotionally, physically, or both — we have all encountered things that have been harmful to the maintenance of peace within ourselves.
& when it happens, it can feel like everything we know is in absolute shambles.
BUT WHY? Why is it that we allow, what negatively triggers us to control us?
For one,
We tend to be triggered by experiences or things that take us back to a traumatic feeling or moment that we’ve buried deep — vowing never to return to. Instead of tackling said trauma and healing from it, many of us have found that the “out of site, out of mind” method might serve us best.
Which in fact can be more harmful than not.
With the harm showing through experiences later on that resemble that trauma or are eerily close. I mean, when you don’t nip something in the bud there is the chance for it to return again and again and again. And naturally in the face of being triggered we respond a few different ways: fight, flight (flee), or freeze. None of which are beneficial responses.
Another reason that we tend to allow what triggers us to control us is fear.
We fear what facing the triggers head on might mean for us, for you. There is nothing more terrifying then coming to terms with why those experiences or moments are triggering to you.
Why is it that when a friend says they’ll call you back and doesn’t for days triggering for you? Could it be that you’re struggling with wanting to feel like someone’s priority. Or is that you fear being alone with your thoughts, so you’d rather be crowded by the thoughts of others.
Why is it that when a man/woman ghosts you, you’re triggered and begin to question your self worth? Is it because you’ve never really been confident in you and what you bring to the table. Or maybe you’ve never truly loved you (flaws and all), so you can’t fathom someone loving you just the same.
Why are you triggered by someone else’s success that you “feel” didn’t work as hard as you did to get to where you wish you were? Is it because you’re not where you want to be, so you find it challenging to celebrate the success of others — or maybe the true battle is comparing oneself to others. Instead of appreciating how far you have come, as small of a stride as it may seem.
& so many other questions or experiences that are triggering like the above, needing to be addressed.
Here’s the thing though.
We do not have to let what triggers us, control us.
I probably should have led with that — gave y’all a heads up that there is light at the end of what feels like such a dark emotional rollercoaster of a tunnel.
It’s time (if it has in the past or currently), to take your power back.
Use your triggers as resources. Pathways to self reflect and get honest with yourself. Determine why you are being triggered and peel back the layers, so that you can get to the root of the issue. Recognizing that in that trigger is a trauma that hasn’t been appropriately addressed.
It’s time to go to war with your demons. Face the trauma, albeit painful — look at it in its eye and get to work. It’s time to eradicate the experiences that have been a trigger for you in your day to day life.
Acting out emotionally (like many of us do when we are triggered), is such a disservice to the person we are supposed to be.
Because the things is, what triggers you sure has the power to control you, BUT…
It doesn’t have to.
To using triggers as a resource for self reflection, growth, and healing.
With Love,
Thelms
friendly reminder, new blog posts on With Love, Thelms every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you babes’ viewing pleasure.
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