SUPPORT WORKS BOTH WAYS

It’s disheartening to realize that there are a number of times when strangers will readily support you before your own friends. Or own family from time to time. However, it’s interesting that the same isn’t supposed to ring true on their end. At their moment of need they expect you to jump through hoops to show support. They want you to pull out all the stops to lend a hand. Whether it’s to promote their new business, wear their hair line, or support the people they love — they want your support readily.

So it begs the question: Why can’t they do the same for you? Why is it that they don’t recognize that support works both ways? 

As common sense as today’s post may seem, I think we can all agree that common sense isn’t that common.  What constitutes mutual support should be a no brainer to everyone, but it isn’t.

I’m not sure if it’s because our society is so damn selfish and no one wants anyone to do even a little bit better than them. Or if it’s the fact that they don’t give as much of a rat’s ass like they claim to (smh). It might even be that they’re just so consumed with a case of the green eyed monster. It fills them so much that they struggle to look past self and see others.

Or maybe they don’t know how?

Hmm.

No matter what the reason, I’ve started to wonder if some people actually know what support means.

As a quick refresher, the dictionary defines support as,

(verb) encouragement through words and action, by way of showing the receiving party that they are backed in a way that provides the motivation to keep at whatever it is being pursued.

When you break it down like that, how could you not understand that support works both ways. That the basis of support is to give it and also receive it. It’s a reciprocal concept.

To get support, you have to be prepared to give it. It means showing someone you love that you believe in their dream and the success they can only pray of achieving one day.

Personally, it really irks me how readily strangers are to support me sometimes. Not that I’m not appreciative of their support, because Lord knows I am.

No, it’s not that.

It’s the fact that people who don’t actually know me will break their necks to show me love. Which is so beautiful to me, don’t get me wrong. Meanwhile a few of the people who understand my passion(s) and understand me, sit idle. It’s odd the way that balances out.

Don’t you think?

It’s odd how they couldn’t spare a minute to talk you up (or show love). However, in the next breath have the nerve to feel slighted when you give what you get… which amounts to nothing. It’s strange how the support doesn’t come till after you’ve hit the major leagues. That’s when everyone comes out of the wood works with a claim to your fame. Saying things like:

“I always knew she was going to make it. I told her so.”  Did you really?

“Y’all, I literally told everyone who would listen to go check her out. She was damn good.” You sure about that?

“Every time she put it out there, I made sure to check it out no matter what.” Okay, now you’re just flat out fibbing lmao.

Yeah it’s certainly odd the way that balances out.

Now that isn’t to say that reassurance is what those of us who are in this boat are looking for. I believe we all know what we bring to the table.

Honestly, it’s more about the recognition.

As my friend or family, recognize that I’m putting everything into my passions. Acknowledge that I’m working hard. Recognize that sometimes words of encouragement mean just as much as actions, certainly more than deafening silence. Recognize that spreading goodness by way of support will come back to you ten folds. It is a reciprocal concept after all.

I do want to make one thing clear though. Today’s post is for the babes who struggle with showing support, yes. BUT. This post is also for us babes who believe we are so deserving of said support.

Are we really though?

Could the same things we complain about in another be the very same thing we do to others? Sometimes, asking ourselves the tough questions can be difficult, but necessary.

If you get nothing from today’s post, get this. Remember this. Hell, live by this.

To get support, you have to be prepared to give it because support works both ways. Remember?

I now challenge you all to show support to someone you love or believe in today. Whether that’s telling others about their art. Or sharing the link to their website. Or even putting people on to their music, show love.

You’d be surprised what awaits you on the other side of your good deed.

To riding for our friends & family and showing support more readily than strangers,

Thelms

p.s. if you were triggered by today’s post because you always want all the support, but never give it — I’m glad you’re triggered. Now go make a change.