With Love, Thelms

At the end of June, one of my really good friends from college gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. With such a huge milestone happening in the life of someone my age and that close to me — it got me thinking about a few things when it comes to kids:

How I want to raise my kids when I have them (I’m thinking no more than three)

The ways in which I plan on being there for them. 

What I plan on saying when tackling difficult, but important subjects… like the sex talk in particular.

The sex talk has always been donned as one of those things you just do with your children. It’s supposed to get them ready for the relationships they will soon have. With regards to it, you witness either one of two parenting styles:

The parents who are open and honest with their kids concerning sex at the appropriate age,

OR

The parents who think it’s taboo to have such talks with their kids and ignore it entirely. Pretty much hoping their kid will figure it out themselves?

Welp, my parents were the latter unfortunately.

I say unfortunately because I thinks it’s unfortunate when parents shy away from topics that hold such much importance.  I can understand how it might be awkward as a parent to imagine your child potentially doing the deed, but we are all humans after all. We were made to reproduce, we were made to do a lot of things and sex is one them.

In this day and age, now more than ever — having the sex talk with your kids holds more weight than ever before.

With all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases running rampant, it’s  wild that parents aren’t having the talk with their kids sooner.

As for the age to have this “talk”, well on my end that’s still to be determined.

Personally, I don’t think there’s a specific age you should have the talk. I think doing it really comes down to when it feels right. I also think it’s important to reach common ground on what you’re going to say and how with your partner.

Look at me spewing all this supposed knowledge like I’m a parent, right? It’s what some of you babes might be thinking, but listen.

I’m speaking from the perspective of the girl who wishes her parents had the sex talk with her.

I mean in my particular situation, I guess I get it. My parents are traditional Nigerians who I’m assuming don’t find the importance in discussing sex with their kids… wait. I may have said that wrong. Here’s the corrected version: My parents are just traditional Nigerians who understand the importance of having the sex talk, but are too afraid to do so.

Nevertheless, it should have gotten done.

In light of my experience, I know that having the talk with my kids will be very important to me. After all, there’s nothing more important than awareness.

To raising kids who know the in and outs (no pun intended) of sex,

Thelms