SUNDAY CHAT: THE CHEATER & THE CHEATED ON

At some point in our lives, we have all been either cheated on, know someone who has been cheated on, or has been the cheater ourselves. Nevertheless, in either scenario this post is for you.

For us.

For everyone.

This topic was something I knew I wanted to chat about in the second post in this series. Cheating has become such a norm in relationships, and quite frankly it’s disgusting. I never could quite wrap my head around why people do it. I also could never wrap my head around why people stay after it happens to them.

Then again, the ball has never been in my court in either situation.

It wasn’t until, one of my guy friends asked me my opinion on cheating and I hypothetically put myself in a scenario where I was cheated on. Which as you could imagine (hypothetically) ironed things out more concretely for me. This further helped develop my stance on two things:

1) I could never be a cheater & 2) I could never stay with someone after being cheated on. 

With that being said, I thought I’d speak directly to those who’ve been in either situation (the cheater or the cheated on) and express myself the best way I know how.

SO, keep reading for more of today’s post in the latest series on With Love, Thelms — Sunday Chat: The Cheater & The Cheated On.”

TO THE CHEATER:

Damn you. Why do it? What do you possibly gain from cheating on your SO (significant other). I’ve always found it difficult to understand why you can’t just leave the person and go pursue other interests. It’s crazy to me (actually absurd), that you can claim to love the person and still do THE grimiest thing to them imaginable. Do you understand that cheating on your SO, immediately shoots down their self confidence? Do you get that? By cheating, you are literally stomping all over whatever confidence they had in themselves and you guys’ relationship and then pissing on it. Gosh. I’ve always heard that when someone isn’t getting what they need, they can’t help but look elsewhere for it.

Bullshit. 

You can help it if you’re an adult and understanding of what you might be risking by looking elsewhere for it. The decent thing, if you have any bit of decency left? Leave them. Let them go before you seek comfort elsewhere. After all, it’s the least you can do.

TO THE CHEATED ON:

You are good enough. It’s the first thing I say to my friends when they tell me the situation their in with their partner. For any of you babes reading this that have been cheated on, I’ll say the same to you.

You are good enough. 

Please don’t let the actions of your significant other define who you are and how you move forward. I don’t care what anyone says (& this just may be my own ignorant opinion because I personally have never been cheated on), BUT. I believe every woman (or man, because men get cheated on too), deserve to be with someone who only chooses them.

Every morning, every night, every day. Always chooses them.

Damn those cheaters. 

“Should I [you] leave them”, you ask.

It’s hard for me to advise you to leave them because I don’t know your history or your circumstances. & as a girlfriend, I couldn’t imagine projecting my unwavering beliefs on you, but you did ask.

I would. I couldn’t be with someone I don’t trust. Trust is everything to me and no matter the circumstance, once you break my trust — you’ve broken us.

However, if you decide to stay that is no fault of your own either.

In any event, it is your relationship and you are left to decide what’s best for you in said relationship. All I can hope for is that you remember what I said to begin with.

You are good enough.

Babe, you’re not the reason why he/she strayed. You are not to blame for why they sought solace elsewhere.

You are and will always be good enough. 

So the takeaway.

For the Cheater, I hope to all that is holy that you just stop freaking cheating. It does you no good, so freaking stop and get loyal for someone.

For the Cheated On, you are and will always be good enough. In the event that you do decide to leave, you will find another — who is willing to choose you, every morning; every night; and every day.

Laters babes,

Thelms xx

I’m wearing: Adidas tights, Zara T-Shirt, Forever 21 biker jacket, & Aldo Bag.

Photos by Tiffany King