With Love, Thelms

Hi Thelma, also fondly known as Thelms. You’ve only just read the first couple of words and you’re already so eager to find out who this is from. As we speak you’re trying to scan through the letter to get the gist of whether it ends good or bad. You have always been so eager and impatient.

STOP. Don’t scroll through. Just meet me back here at the top of this letter because I can promise you, you will not want to miss what I have to say. After all, this is all about you. In all your 16 year-old glory, whatever that means. Don’t worry about who’s writing this to you, because it’s you. Just six years older. There’s so much I want to tell you.

Around this time, the guy you are talking to ended things for someone at his school. You can’t figure out why or how, and that devastates you. You look at yourself in the mirror every morning, wondering what parts of yourself you can change so he’ll want back in your life.

Is something wrong with me? That question is what you’ve been asking yourself repeatedly and you don’t always get a positive answer in return. He is everything to you (for all of the three months that he was something), so your heart is broken. It’s currently stressing you out imagining that he chose someone else over you. BUT here’s the thing. Your devastation about this breakup won’t last long. You’ll look back on this and laugh about how hard you cried that night he called and “ended things”. It was all so trivial.  Thelma, you didn’t know yourself and you wouldn’t have found yourself with him. He’ll become a Nupe (frat boy), and it’ll make you smile when you watch his snaps because that was always where he ought to be/end up. He is a good guy, he just wasn’t meant to be your guy.

You’re also currently seeking solace in your friends hoping that if you ask them if they think she’s (his new girl) prettier than you, they’ll happily oblige your feelings and say “absolutely not, you’re way prettier.” Their hesitation when you ask before feeding you a load of bullshit tells you everything you need to know. She’s pretty, prettier than you.

BUT here’s another thing.

You were beautiful and so was she. Don’t compare yourself to her or anyone else for that matter. Years from now you will understand that you are a gem unmatched among gems. You will also realize what a prize you are and become extremely sure of yourself. The confidence you will gain will allow you to pursue many things and attract admirers along the way. Before all of that happens however, you’re going to meet someone soon who tells you all the time, just how important you are. He will suffocate you with affection you’ve never known and you will ruin it. You will ruin it because you can’t see that the fire within you could set blaze to a thousand trees. You will push him away and you will regret it constantly years later. There’s fire within you baby girl. Don’t wait three years to realize it. there.is.fire.within.you. The fire that is unmatched and will spark the interest of every person you meet going forward. Carpe Diem Thelms, it’s the only way to live.

You’re currently doing exceptionally well in school. That accomplishment is your pride and joy and you’ve never failed anything… YET.

Failing means unsuccess and the pressure to remain studious eats away at you internally. Although, you hide it very well. To others you care, they just couldn’t possibly believe how much. You are so stuck on following this written timeline for your life and everything has to go that way or else. Or else Thelma.. It’s time to face the or else because everything won’t happen in the timely fashion that you’re hoping for. You will face a major setback in the coming years and it will break you. You however, will come back stronger than ever and get accepted into nursing school. For God only *had “has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future“. It’s time to start leaning on him and not yourself.

You’re also really into fashion right now, but hesitate on how or if you should pursue it because of what people may think. In seventh grade, you wore the uniform dress to school as an outfit and people said horrible things about you. Remember? You went to the bathroom down the hall from English and cried because it hurt, but refused to let anyone see you sweat. I said you were built from the fire for a reason. That incident was one of them. Don’t overthink how or when you’ll throw yourself into the fashion scene. Years from now, a good girlfriend will spark something in you that you kept dormant for so long. She’ll give you the courage to pursue your dream and God will give you the will to forge ahead when success doesn’t come as quickly as you’d like. You’re so damn impatient sometimes, but you will learn self-control in waves.

In relationships and friendships, you will struggle to give yourself openly because of the fear that doing so will only cause you to get hurt. It will, but what’s life without a little risk Thelms. You have to take a chance and open up. Stop expecting so much from people. Years from now you will realize that expecting so much from others will only cause you to get hurt. Instead cater to those deserving of your love and affection and forgo those that don’t.

The next six years won’t be easy. You will lose people: some will walk away willingly, you will chase others to return, and others you will let go of. You will face trials and tribulations, but you will grow from them all.

You have and will always be one of the strongest people I know. Even if you don’t know it as I write this to you, you will know it soon.

Happy Birthday, Thelms.

I’ll be writing you in a few years. love + light babe

xx Thelma