With Love, Thelms

Oh the perils of dating. Times have definitely changed and because of that we are now seeing a surge in online dating more than we ever did in previous years.

I mean, here’s the thing. Are people finding the love of their lives via online dating sites/apps, yes. However, in the same breath — are people also finding bullshitting inconsistent men/women?

Yes, yes, and yes.

In my experience, I’ve done both. I’ve been the girl that met a guy while out and went from there. I have also been the girl that utilized the online dating realm at one point or the other in attempt to find my person.

The thing with the online dating realm though is that it can give very “marry, kill, smash” vibes. Y’all remember that game? Not in the sense that you’re actually being literal, but in the sense that there can seem like a plethora of options. So many options that you don’t take out the time to be thoughtful and instead use a skewed process to match or not.

& then just as quickly, you’re on to the next.

This then begs the question and topic of tonight’s blog post.

Is online dating addictive or effective?

In my experience, I’d say it can be a bit more addictive than effective.

Though many dating apps’ advertise that you are sure to find your person, the likelihood of that happening is pretty rare.

It isn’t very likely, (statistically) that the first person you match with online will be your forever person. Not so fast bud, it doesn’t happen that easily. Or that quickly.

It’s also not likely that you will find your person via the online dating world period. Though there are exceptions of course and the you that’s reading this may very well fall into said exception.

Nevertheless,

Online dating makes it very easy to not like the slightest thing in someone and then be on to the next option.

Too quickly if you ask me, though I’ve been one to partake in the action a time or two. I’m not going to hold y’all LOL.

It’s for that reason that the whole swipe or match culture that is online dating can be more addictive than effective.

The idea of being able to dust yourself off and try again when one match doesn’t pan out feels hopeful. It feels like you just might get lucky. That the hope you continue to have will surely be rewarded. THAT right there. That hope? That’s what keeps many going.

Common thoughts being:

I can’t give up. I just downloaded the app it takes time.

The next match could be my last. What’s one more swipe right going to hurt?

Ehh, he’s not doing it for me. Let me keep swiping till I find someone who will do it for me.

Gosh is it addictive.

I believe it’s also addictive because people tend to stay on dating apps longer than they should.

Dating apps should have a cut off. Hear me out. You can match with people all day long, but if it doesn’t result in substantial connections — tell me, WHAT IS THE ACTUAL POINT?

Le’sigh, dating man… and all that it comes with is such a doozy.

But online dating?

Yeah that’s a whole beast of it’s own.

To the babes that are actively dating, I want to live y’all with this:

It seems only time will be able to tell if online dating has been addictive or effective for you. However, if you’ve been using an app for months and had no success — it’s probably more addictive than not at this point. You might want to hang up your straps and get out there. Try your luck with meeting a few people in person and go from there.

Fate can’t possibly fail you twice.

To participating in effective dating that helps you find your person, whatever that may look like.

With Love,

Thelms