Now I write this knowing full well there will be three types of people reading this. So I figured I’d just get a few disclaimers out of the way now. The first? The person who agrees with me wholeheartedly and can’t wait to read more about why cheaters gone always cheat (southern drawl for more emphasis). Because you sis, have never been confused on the matter. The second? The person who happens to be with a cheater reformed and will read today’s post with fear in their heart (or maybe even anger?). Worried that what I have to say may hold some weight. Or feel accusatory in some way. The third? Now if you fall in the third category, you’re in the clear. You’ve never been cheated on and are reading today’s post for the sake of insight only.
In any event, today’s post isn’t bible. It’s not meant to be an end all be all. No matter the type of person you fall under, your opinion isn’t wrong. It just happens to be different from mine this time and that’s okay. I’m just sharing my thoughts on the matter and the experiences of various friends.
So without delaying the inevitable, let’s jump straight in. Shall we?
Once a cheater, always a cheater (shrugs).
It’s the code I’ve always lived by. However, I’m not 100% sure when it became part of me or where exactly I picked it up from, but it’s been constant. The feeling that is.
I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember, with time only further solidifying my feelings on the matter.
A cheater will always be a cheater in my book.
Call it the Scorpio in me or just a woman scorned by the hurt experienced by close friends, but that’s just the way it will always be for me.
I believe that if someone can have a lapse in judgment once, they are likely to have the same lapse again… very soon. Now don’t get me wrong. I am understanding of the fact that we are only mere mortals and make mistakes. As much as we attempt to project our perfection from time to time, we’re not. No one is perfect.
However, someone cheating on you is more than a “we’re only human, we all make mistakes” to me. Cheating holds much more weight than that because it speaks to a few things as it relates to your relationship. Lack of respect, carelessness, and dishonesty is at the forefront of those “few” things.
It’s a serious offense.
It’s risky to be with someone who can have that particular lapse in judgment. So damn risky and personally, I’m not prepared to live my life with someone feeling like that. Like at any second my whole life can be snatched from under me due to a mistake made for the second time that holds so much weight.
I refuse to live my life like that.
So better I think or believe rather — that a cheater, will always be a cheater.
It also doesn’t help that 99% of the people I know who have been cheated on and stayed were cheated on again, by the same damn guy smh.
Yeah. I reckon it would save me from the sleepless nights. Or anxiety I would feel every time your phone lit up on the nightstand. It would most definitely save me from a sexually transmitted disease or two, and that’s just real tea y’all. Unless you’re the cheater who only likes to kiss. I guess I’d be saved from getting Mono then.
Le’sigh.
If you’ve made it to the end of this post, you’ve probably realized that there’s a few stipulations to my belief.
Hell, so have I in writing this.
Maybe it’s not really about the belief that a cheater will always be a cheater. Just maybe it’s more about not wanting to stay long enough to find out. That leaving at the first sign of that particular lapse in judgment will save me from a life filled with obvious risk. A life that leaves the door open for that cheater, to cheat again.
Not to say that life with someone isn’t a risk of it’s own.
I’m just very sure that I’m not willing to risk it all in that way.
Because frankly? I do not like my chances.
Do you?
Thelms
New content posted on With Love, Thelms every Mon, Weds, Fri for your viewing pleasures. xx
No Comments