With Love, Thelms

In recent years, I’m not a huge fan that for so long we were taught to idolize strong women. Women who could weather any storm and face all fears, yes they deserve our respect. But the women who didn’t show emotion because they bottled everything up and kept on keeping on, I’m not so sure that should have been idolized. Strong women who raised their daughters to be strong in the face of turmoil, angst, and despair. Who raised daughters to believe that to cry is to be weak, to let others have a one up on you. Understand me when I say that I’m grateful for those strong women though. They deserve our respect and admiration, but not in the manner that breeds another generation of “just strong” women. I’m grateful that before they understood the beauty in being open and vulnerable, soft even — they held it down (and continue to hold it down). They held their life, their love, and their locs down.

It was before they understood that to be a soft woman isn’t the absence of strength, but the very thing that embodies it.

Soft and strong.

Finding the balance of two powerful states of being is a beautiful thing. The most beautiful thing. To not let the weight of life make you hard, harsh, and unnecessarily heroic in the face of your angst and despair.

It’s why these days I’m choosing to be soft.

I’m not just strong, I’m a soft woman. A soft woman who cries after watching a sad movie, but most importantly when I’m hurt. Who gets angry when I’m mistreated or those I love are. Who laughs for less at the most mundane of jokes. Who’s at ease in my own space, in the safety net of my family and those that truly love me.

I’m soft.

I’m strong too, but these days I’m choosing to be mostly soft.

So handle me with ease. Cater to the needs of soft women instead of assuming they can handle everything on their own. Be dependable in a soft woman’s life. Be accountable. Be trustworthy. Remain honorable.

Now, it goes without saying however that a state of delicacy does not a weak person make. Oh no, there’s strength in softness — in delicacy.

There’s so much strength to be found there.

Le’sigh.

For the woman reading this, exhausted by always having to bottle everything up — every emotion, every feeling… I say to you:

You can weather any storm, face any battle but understand that you’re not just strong, you’re a soft woman too. & that in itself is its own beautiful super power.

To not being just strong, but soft too.

With Love,

Thelms X