“been a minute, but I’m back — I wasn’t finished so there’s that.”
It’s the self formulated quote that kept making its presence known in my head (thinking it only right to use it as my caption for my photo detailing my return to the ‘gram lol — we’re about to get deep so I figure we’d bring some light to things before the waters get a little treacherous) as I contemplated a few things:
(X) My return to socials (small and insignificant to many, but major for me — social media just started to feel very toxic for me & my mental health)
(X) How to continue to combat my emotional turmoil (essentially attempting to get back to the root of me)
(X) Activating my latest boundaries (things that I had to place a figurative barricade around in order to maintain sense of self & comfort)
(X) Getting back to writing (there’s sooo much freedom I find in expressing how I feel by putting the pen to the pad)…
This year has been challenging for me in many ways, but more than any way — it’s been challenging emotionally. Hell, it’s safe to say this year has been challenging for so many of us in that way as well. From the pandemic that at times has felt suffocating both inside and outside of work as a healthcare worker on the front lines to the emotional turmoil I had been experiencing as of late, wow has this year been a hard pill to swallow.
— because of it all, I’ve chosen to be more intentional about my actions, what I think, and how I think + what I expose myself to.
In the spirit of intentionality, I’ve also found that periodic cleanses from social media can be life saving.
Dramatic to some? Maybe, but necessary for those that tend to absorb & analyze all that we see and hear.
Here’s the thing —
In the year 2020, if we weren’t talking about racism and the plight of the black man and woman, we were talking about the massacre of Nigerian youth fighting (peacefully) to bring an end to corrupt government systems. If neither of those were on the agenda, we were talking about the global pandemic that rocked our nation — our world to its core. When that wasn’t being discussed, we were in mourning for the lives lost too soon due to the Coronavirus, a helicopter crash that took the life of a legend and his sweet baby girl, the loss of the figurehead of women’s rights; the Notorious RBG, and the Black Panther that united us all through our TV screens — Chadwick Boseman’s death. God forbid if we weren’t discussing any of the above, we were discussing the political future of The United States pondering if we would:
a) be forced to face another 4 years with a certain someone as our leader
OR
b) get some fresh meat in the game with the election of Joe Biden and a HBCU’s very own Kamala Harris (first female in history as second in command).
Thankfully some good came and b) happened.
But sheeeeeeeet.
This year has been hard.
It’s why intentionality is so important to me going forward. If 2020 has made me realize anything, it’s that (I realize how cliche this will sound so bear with me) —
I’ve realized that:
TOMORROW IS NOT FREAKING PROMISED.
TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE.
FREAKING LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF YOURSELF BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU’LL GET OLD & SAGGY.
COMPARISON IS LITERALLY THE THIEF OF FREAKING JOY.
BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT HOW YOU TALK, HOW YOU THINK, & WHAT YOU EXPOSE YOURSELF TO CAN SAVE YOU MENTALLY.
YOUR DREAMS WILL BECOME YOUR REALITY, BELIVE IT.
YOUR CONVICTIONS ARE YOURS, SAY THAT SHIT WITH YOUR CHEST.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my honesty hour or however long it took you to make it through this blog post.
To being more intentional and spending time with yourself,
Thelms
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