With Love, Thelms

Men, men, men. They can be the best thing to ever come into your life or the worst — and that’s just putting it lightly. When they’re really into you, they go after you unrelentingly and do what it takes to keep you just the same. I’m not even going to lie you guys. Being chased by the guy you’re into… mouth watering. I mean when it’s good it’s great. So, why is that when they don’t make the effort we don’t always keep it real with ourselves and realize; he’s just not that into us anymore? Easy. Being a champion for love is much nicer than being a sucker for heartache & sadness. Duh. 

Personally, I’ve been in this situation and realizing that the guy’s just not that into you anymore really sucks. Like sucks balls, sucks. I’d always fantasize about what I wanted him to be or become — I was in La La Land of the worst kind. He showed me constantly who he was, doing everything he could to show me without telling me that he was a grade A asshole. Go figure. I was just too blind or maybe a bit naive, so I didn’t get his drift. I was the afterthought, clawing to be the center of attention.

Did I mention I was in La La Land? The crazy thing is, if a friend were to tell me they were in this very situation.. well. I’d be the first one to give a billion reasons why they should get out, walk away, hell just move on. The fact that I couldn’t do that for myself at first, blows me. Silly me.

That’s okay though! There’s always room to learn, do better, and be better.

No more excuses. I know the signs and tribe, you guys should know them too:

1. HE’S NOT A GOOD GUY: Simple and plain. Like literally, he’s not. You try, and sometimes successfully drum up this fantasy of how you want him to be. That fantasy further perpetuates the illusion of him and you two as a whole. He’s nothing like the fantasy you guys. WAKE UP. Nothing like it. The crazy thing is he’s been showing you all along. His character is nothing like the man of your dreams. In actuality, your guy is insensitive, rude, selfish, an asshole, shall I continue?

2. HE ONLY SEES YOU WHEN IT SUITS HIM: Which is never. His way or the highway. No like literally hit the highway because he’d rather have you walk than sit and hear you tell him how much you’re hurt because he was too busy for you last weekend.

3. HE’S ALWAYS BLOWING YOU OFF: Something, anything is always more important than you. Your feelings never matter. Empathy for another person he seems to even lack. Seriously? Ew.

4. YOU’RE ALWAYS MORE NEEDY FOR HIM THAN HE IS FOR YOU: He’s your man, so of course you’re needy for him sometimes. You want to hug, kiss, touch, and love on him and he couldn’t be more un-bothered. That’s not the way it should be. In my opinion, your man should crave you more than you crave him. What girl doesn’t love or want extra attention? Give me a kiss because you couldn’t help yourself, NOT because I asked or begged for one.

5. HE’S CHANGED: Honestly, this is the worst part of it all. I don’t think it’s possible to ever predict that he may change or wake up one day and not care about you. Or love you. It seems impossible, but it does happen. Sadly, a little too often. The way he treats you is different. The way he looks at you has changed… The spark that once could set fire to a thousand trees has been put out.

So that’s that, tribe. Did I mention you guys are my tribe? I’ll start referring to you babes as such. Thelma’s tribe has a nice ring to it and I want to feel like you’re on this journey with me always.

ANYWAY. That’s that for the warning signs. Your guy may not operate by the same handbook, so it’s always best to be sure by testing the waters before walking away. Test the waters by not texting him back so quickly, letting him contact you first, or simply just leaving him waiting sometimes. It all may seem pretty trivial, but trust me when I say this. If a guy really wants to be with you, HE WILL ALWAYS GO ABOVE & BEYOND TO SHOW YOU THAT. You should never have to assume “if”.

If you do have to walk away, as hard as it may be for you — you’re doing the right thing. Had you stayed you would be settling. No one ever built a happy life by settling with someone.

After reading this you know what to do, the answer is in your heart. He’s just not that into you, so walk away tribe. Someone better will come along. There’s no way your good heart won’t touch another’s soon.

love + light tribe.

xx Thelms