As much as the times call for women empowerment and taking charge, there is a significant deficit when it comes to applying such sentiments to dating and women making the first move. Whether, it’s the fear of rejection. Or it’s the traditional mindset you were raised with. Most women prefer NOT to make the first move. In today’s post, I’m sharing my thoughts on why it’s so hard for most women to make the first move, advice on putting yourself out there and just doing it + my personal experiences.
SO, keep reading for more.
Dating is hard y’all. I know that many people talk it up like it’s the most natural thing in the world, but is it really?
There’s the initial interaction, the exchange of numbers, the meet up, and so forth. Each step requiring a different thought process, necessary to make it to the next. However, the question that remains constant in the minds of all women is this:
Is he really into me?
Until things are clearly laid out, no matter what stage of the dating game you’re at — this is always on the brain. To really tackle the topic precisely, let me share a few responses from friends related to the game that is dating.
Does he really like me?
He’s standing by the bar, but keeps looking over.. is he interested?
We haven’t defined our relationship after 3 months of dating.. Does he not want to take things to the next level?
Damn he’s fine af. I want to walk over and say, “Hey” but what if he doesn’t find me attractive?
Those are just a few of the reasons why most women don’t make the first move: the fear of vulnerability.
To be open and expose yourself to rejection is tough. It’s hard to find out that the person you’re into, isn’t really into you. But would you believe me if I said that it’s a necessary part of growth? Rejection is important. It builds you in a way that acceptance could never dream of doing. So believe me when I tell you that you’ve got to rejected sometimes. Yeah it’s uncomfortable, but it’s supposed to be.
I’ve personally been rejected a few times — and to say it was uncomfortable is an understatement. That shit burned like Fireball making it’s way through your chest after you down the shot too fast.
It was extremely uncomfortable, BUT necessary.
In addition to vulnerability, I believe that women are apprehensive of making the first move because that just isn’t the way it’s supposed to go… apparently.
Many of us were raised on fairytales, rom coms, and white knight stories of the prince (man) making the first move and getting the girl. Though beautiful, such depictions aren’t always the reality of life.
Sometimes, waiting for a guy to make the first move is time wasted.
Would it be so bad to leave your traditional viewpoint on dating behind, every now and then? You’d be surprised how attractive guys find it when a woman makes the initiative. Taking it from my guy friends and the experiences they have shared, they love that shit to put it mildly. Unless of course, they’re not into you… but that’s the name of the game, right?
However, understand this.
This is not to say that us women should just be rolling up on guys all the time. This is just to say that rolling up on them sometimes, may not be so bad.
Just as much as this post was for you babes that struggle with making the first move — This post is also for me. It serves as a reminder that being confident about what you bring to the table is important. Just because the 1st man isn’t into it, does not mean that the 3rd guy won’t be.
Do me a favor and try it out.
On one of the days/nights you go out this weekend, give making the first move a shot.
I so like your chances babes and I like mine too,
Thelms
p.s. details on this look coming soon.
No Comments