With Love, Thelms

Some people just can’t take it.

Constructive criticism that is. I’m not sure if it’s because the very things pointed out by someone that loves you are things you’ve always thought about yourself. Or maybe it’s the notion that someone pointed out something that needs to be changed before you got a chance to start working on it internally. That is of course, so others could notice the change externally. Hell, it might even be that you were under the impression you were doing a wonderful job of hiding those character flaws.

In any event, it’s why I believe constructive criticism isn’t for the faint and weary.

Because allowing someone to give you constructive criticism without falling back on feelings of:

anger, depression, pain, irritation, defensiveness, takes strength, motivation, and courage. Both of which are damn hard to have or maintain at times.

It is damn hard to allow yourself to be open and vulnerable enough that you give another the opportunity to hurt you, yes. However, in doing so (being open that is) sometimes you also give that person the opportunity to better you, if only you’ll let them.

Constructive criticism, for all intents and purposes, is defined as:

an individual(s) providing validly observed opinions about another’s work, self, or environment that include both positive and negatives traits or attributes. It is the hope that in doing so, the listening party will thrive in a way that promotes growth and good fortune for themselves and those around them. 

Now when you put it like this, I think we might all be a little more hungry for a bit of constructive criticism. Don’t you think?

Don’t get me wrong though because I get it. Sometimes, it’s just too damn hard to accept that we’re a mess and someone else besides ourselves have noticed. But we’re only human right? We all have character flaws that have the potential to be eliminated or improved with the small input of another. A person who cares for us deeply and only ever comes from a place of love and desire for us to be well and do well.

So the next time you find yourself jumping to the defense, take a second.

Take a second to listen. Like really listen.

Then take a couple more seconds to look at the person giving you the constructive criticism. Ask yourself two questions:

Would this person genuinely cheer and squeal when I succeed or do well?

Is this person coming from a place of love?

If the answer to both of those questions were a yes, take a few more seconds.

Let the words that they’re saying truly sink and consider this.

Whoever he/she may be, loves you. They want to see you do well. They want to see you reach the ultimate height of fulfillment. All of which they don’t believe will occur if you continue letting that particular character flaw thrive inside of you. This is why they’re attempting to open your eyes to it. Whether that character flaw(s), have personally hurt them or others around them — it can no longer hide. It’s shown it’s bad hand, and it’s time you show yours. Will you let the spirit of aggression, rudeness, pessimism, or whatever it is in particular rule your life and the relationships in it?

Change is hard work, but damn it if it doesn’t allow to you to become the person you were always meant to be.

So go forward with strength and courage. Because constructive criticism isn’t for the faint and weary, remember?

Thelms

SHOP MY LOOK: Boohoo top, Shein denim, and Forever 21 sandals.

p.s. missed Friday’s post? Catch up here.

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