CHEERS TO 25

Cheers to 25.

I’m 25 today and what a feeling. 🎈

I’ve spent 25 years on this Earth being protected by God’s love and allowed the opportunity to excel in so many ways. In 25 years I have experienced the very best of times and in the same breath experienced hardships as well. Hardship that if I close my eyes, can see and feel like I’m there all over again.

But I’m here and I’m grateful.

I’m grateful because the place I am now in my life is a place of acceptance. For years, I wasn’t always the most accepting of myself. I hid behind the confidence I should feel as opposed to what I actually felt. I don’t know that I ever really knew myself, what I was worth, or what I truly deserved. As a child/teen I felt like I was never considered the “pretty one” or the one that was sought after. Instead I felt like I was the one that no one really wanted (not only in a romantic way, but just generally). Like I had to prove myself constantly to show others I was worth it. Worth knowing, worth needing, worth choosing. I always felt like I was second fiddle to the person who garnered all the attention instead. In a lot of ways those feelings propelled me to always seek to be more than my appearance.

Looking back on it now, those times were some of the best things that ever happened to me because look at me now.

I grew through what I experienced — I’m still growing through what I’ve experienced. 

I am strong because of it. Everyday I get stronger because of it. The little girl that I was has played a significant role in shaping the woman that I am today. I accept me and all my flaws. I am not perfect and by no means have I’ve ever claimed to be. I have demons that I will continue to work on keeping at bay, but at 25 I’m game. I’m game to put in all the work to remain accepting of myself and who I am. To not let the voices in my head that represent doubt, insecurity, anger, and so forth take me back to a home I no longer want to be a resident of.

It’s a battle to choose being kind to yourself. Sometimes I fail at, hell I failed at it a few weeks ago but that’s okay. In accepting myself and all that I am — I understand that sometimes I will fail. Some days may not be as great as others and that is okay.

If you’ve known me for a while, I’m sure you’ve noticed an increase in my confidence level recently. I guess I just woke up one morning (earlier this year) and realized that I am in fact that bitch. LOL, but seriously. I never needed a man to tell me, friends to tell me, anyone to tell me. All I needed was to look myself stern in the face and tell my damn self. & dang it, if God hadn’t been trying to tell me this all along. 

To say it just like this,

“Thelma, you are my child, created in my beautiful light. Don’t ever stand for anyone making you feel anything other than that.”

So today on my 25th birthday I’m celebrating.

Cheers to finally realizing that no matter what happens or what I have yet to see in this thing called life, I am enough. I am worthy of knowing, worthy of needing, and worthy of choosing.

To myself: (In the infamous words of Kris Jenner),

You’re doing amazing sweetie.

 Cheers to 25.

Thelms

friendly reminder, new blog posts on With Love, Thelms every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you babes’ viewing pleasure.