CATCHING A CHEATER: TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

Disclaimer: the topic of today’s post has been discussed at great length as of recently. From the Steve Harvey show, to instagram with all you babes, and even at work with my coworkers. Nothing I say here is law, but an opinion of mine only. My opinion isn’t meant to be taken as the end all be all and I hope you babes don’t take it as such.

Now that I’ve gotten the nitty out of the way, shall we get to the gritty?

Catching a cheater is no easy feat, but when you do? The mechanics of the after can get a bit tricky.

In previous posts I have shared my opinions on the Cheater and the Cheated On, but never the one who witnessed the cheating.

What would you do if you saw someone you call a close friend or more —significant’s other, cheating?

Would you tell?

Well, if you’ve kept up with the conversation I have had on Instagram.. or you’re a coworker who knows we were JUST chatting about this. You know with 100% assurance where I stand.

If you didn’t catch it, without further ado..

You bet your ass I’m SNITCHHHHHHIN.

I am telling.

I believe that to do so is the duty you have as a friend. To be honest and forthright about something you know that could cause that close friend harm or despair.

How can you be close to someone and know something so major? Something that has the ability to cause their entire life to implode — and say nothing. Nada, zilch.

I just don’t live by that code y’all.

Instead I live by the code of friendship where we ride till the end. I have your back no matter what. Educate you when you’re wrong and support you when you’re right. Cheer for you when you win and comfort you when you fall. Be weary of any one person who comes into your life with the intention to hurt you. In the same breath, I’m ready to celebrate when people come into your life with the intent to only be good and give good.

You’re not a close friend of mine if I don’t live by that code. Call it the way I was raised or where my morality stands. Hell you can even blame it on my Scorpio sign. We have been known to be the most intense of them all, that values loyalty above almost everything else.

In any case, it is a code I’ll never break from.

Listen.

STDs, HIV, all that gritty? Yeah that shit is R E A L, okay? I refuse to let someone I love catch a case behind a no good man or woman. Call me Iyanla because NOT ON MY WATCH.

Now if you’ve spilled the tea to your good sis, or good guy and they want to stay and don’t want to heed your warning? You (& I) have done what can be done at that point.

I will not be the friend running behind your significant other every few minutes to go tell you about how they’re cheating…. again.

At that point, your bed has been made and instead of choosing to get all new sheets — you’re still sleeping in the same tired dirty ones. & that is entirely on YOU.

& as you would be right to assume, the way I answer the question is very telling to what I would want someone to do for me if the tables were turned. If we’re close? LET ME KNOW what’s going on under my nose. Pleeeeeeeeeease.

Now on the other end of the spectrum it begs the follow up question to a different scenario:

What if you saw someone you’re not close to significant other cheating? Would you tell?

My opinion on the matter?

I most likely would NOT.

It’s just not my business to involve myself in the lives of people that have no role in my life.

If we aren’t best friends or even close friends, the code I discussed previously? It doesn’t necessarily apply to you. *shrugs

Harsh? I don’t think so.

I’m not involving myself in the lives of people that don’t concern me. Yes we do yoga twice a week together, but we are not close. If I see your man cheating or your woman (because women can cheat too y’all), I’m not saying a damn thing. We’re not on that level.

That is none of my business.

As a people, all we can honestly do is hope that people start getting a lot more honest.

If you want a taste of something more, LEAVE that good woman or good man where you found him.

Don’t put someone undeserving of harm, in harm’s way.

Be good and good will come to you, remember?

To cheaters getting caught one close friend at a time,

Thelms