With Love, Thelms

Oh the woes of cuffing season when you’re single. You go through phases where you’re wanting to be cuffed up and entertained to loving every second of spending time with yourself — by yourself. However, when the feeling of wanting to be cuffed takes over more often than not — our desire for companionship makes the possibility of making foolish decisions that much greater.

Foolish decisions such as revisiting the ex that in most cases should stay an ex.

Listen I get it though.

A lot of times it seems easier to revisit what you knew than starting fresh or taking some time to be with you.

However, we can’t let the feeling of loneliness or desire for companionship sway good choices and turn them into regrettable decisions.

Therefore, today’s post is meant to remind you (if you’ve forgotten already) — why going back to your ex is a bad decision.

For starters,

Time apart changed nothing:

They are still likely the same person you left however long ago it was. Time usually doesn’t change much, but the freshness of the memory that made you call it quits to begin with.

The relationship felt like one sided work:

If it felt like you were the only one trying — that aspect of you all’s dynamic will likely remain the same. Naturally, now that you aren’t even officially together, you can expect that to be much worse.

You would be settling:

Some aspect of your relationship wasn’t ideal. That’s why you either left or was left. You had to believe and trust that there was someone better out there for you. Hold on to that feeling/belief because God willing better is on the way.

Good sex does a relationship not make:

Listen on this I can totally understand. Great sex will have you reconsidering a lot of things. However, going back to your ex it should not. Think about it? You were in a relationship with this person, so outside of a great physical connection — you had an emotional connection as well. You were able to leave the relationship and forge ahead in some capacity. Why get yourself entangled again by going back where you don’t belong because the sex was good? Trust me, it’s never worth it.

You were never made to feel like you mattered:

No matter what you tell yourself when you are considering going back to your ex — you should never compromise your self worth or priority status for another person. If you don’t make yourself a priority, why would someone else do so.

Whatever you feel is there usually isn’t:

Sometimes memories of the past convince us that we’re missing something that just isn’t there anymore. It’s okay to reminisce, but don’t let that be reason you go back to someone you shouldn’t. Those feelings? Though real are the past. A past you would do best to not revisit.

Like I said, I get it. Dating is hard and cuffing season feels harder sometimes when you’re single — BUT getting back with an ex? Usually is never the best of ideas.

It gets messy and complicated, REAL FAST.

So steer clear of them and focus in on you.

You have always been what mattered most, cuffing season or not.

With Love,

Thelms